Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Shadows are Dark

I know that it has been a few weeks since I posted and it has not been because I don't have anything to say. Anyone who knows me will testify to the fact that there very few times that I am "at a loss for words"! I have found it hard to get my mind around everything that has been going on inside me and around me. Those that know me also know that I stay pretty busy. Between a full-time job, my family, the youth group, soccer and whatever else pops up; my days seem to fill up rather quickly. With all of that going on I have to guard myself against being too busy to here the Lord.

You see, the things in my life are not inherently bad but if they push God out of top billing then they become deadly. This battle is seemingly always present for me!?!? I am not sure if it is due to growing up having to do for myself a lot or if it is merely the sinful stubbornness that resides in my heart. What I do know is that my heart is "dark" and in desperate need of Jesus!



Last night I was able to go to the Tenebrae service at my church. I had not gone to a Tenebrae service before last year at this time. It is quickly becoming one of the hardest services for me but one of my favorites! For those of you who don't know what Tenebrae means, which was me a year ago, it is the Latin word for "darkness" and is often called "the service of the shadows". Throughout the service you are walked through the anguish and suffering that Christ felt as He made His way ultimately to the cross. There is very little light in the sanctuary and candles are extinguished during the service to symbolize the darkness that covered the earth when Christ died for us. For me it proven to be one of the best ways for me to catch a glimpse of what Christ choose to go through for me and it truly leaves my in awe of my Savior!

The hardest part for me is that I know my heart is still full of the dark shadows that Christ died for. But Christ continues to pursue me regardless of how ugly my heart is. I pray that I never lose sight of how much God loved me to do what He did and how truly undeserving I am of being saved. As darkness and silence covered the church at the end of the service last night it was hard to not feel completely helpless and sad! But then I remember that is beautiful fact....SUNDAY'S COMING!

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